Antony & Cleopatra & The Doctor & Donna
by JunoInferno
Summary: On their tour of the universe, the Doctor and Donna get waylaid to ancient Alexandria as Roman armies lay siege and the end is nigh for Mark Antony and Cleopatra. Only they can't leave and it just keeps happening, again and again. Does it have anything to do with the soothsayer calling Donna "The Most Important Woman in Creation?" Part of the Regarding Mrs Smith universe.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Notes: I do not own Doctor Who. This story is part of the Regarding Mrs Smith ficverse, set after the events of The Interaction of Human and Time Lord Gametes but before the aforementioned story. In other words if you're completely new to this, the Doctor and Donna are married and trying for a baby, but no baby yet. Oh, I am no Roman history expert, I got a lot of it from Rome and reading Wikipedia after I watched Rome, so I make no claims at historical accuracy. Thank you so much, let me know what you think and happy reading!

* * *

Donna awoke to the sound of bleeping.

She opened her eyes, not daring to gaze at where the sound was coming from because she knew where it was coming from. It obviously emanated from the screwdriver connected to one overly concerned Martian.

"Stop bleeping me!," she shouted.

The Doctor mobed back, startled. "What? I wasn't-"

Donna tossed the bedclothes aside and turned to face her husband, who was trying to put the sonic screwdriver back in his breast pocket as nonchalantly and quickly as possible. "I thought we agreed you weren't going to poke your nose into places it doesn't belong-" Donna began.

"Well, when you say where 'it doesn't belong'-"

Donna groaned. "It doesn't belong there!" She sighed. "You are entirely too anxious about this. I'm not going to wake up and have a physical every morning until I fall pregnant. Besides, you can't just have sex and wake up the next morning and expect to be pregnant! It doesn't work like that."

"It does for Time Lords," the Doctor said quietly.

"I'm not a Time Lord, Time Lady, whatever, I'm not it. I refuse to drive myself mad with this. I'm not going to become Eliza."

"Who's Eliza?"

"My friend, Eliza, she spent three years trying to get pregnant, it was all she could talk about, drove us all mad and became unbearable. I will not become Eliza."

"Donna, you will not become Eliza."

"I know I won't, but what about you?"

"I don't even know Eliza!," the Doctor said plaintively.

"Doctor, when I'm pregnant, I want to be the first to know, alright? You can't take that from me. It's my body, I ought to be getting the first updates on what's happening with it."

"Yes," the Doctor muttered.

"No more bleeping?"

"No more bleeping," the Doctor agreed.

Donna smiled. "So, where are you taking me today, Time Boy?"

The Doctor smiled back. "What about the beach? Etuna Seven, about two hundred thousand years before your time. No lifeforms, we'll have it all to ourselves."

Donna smiled. "No rozzers, then?"

"No."

"You're just looking for places to make ginger Time Babies, now, aren't you?"

"No, there are some interesting geological features. I could give you a brief overview of the geological history, we could take a hike-"

Donna rolled her eyes. "Please stop talking about geology. I just want the two of us and the beach."

The Doctor grinned. "Yes, ma'am," said the Doctor giving Donna a kiss.

* * *

Donna got ready for the beach, putting on her swimsuit, a sarong, sandals and big, floppy hat. She joined the Doctor in the console room where he was fiddling with the controls with a look of extreme concentration on his face.

"What's wrong?," asked Donna.

"I'm having trouble adjusting the TARDIS controls," said the Doctor. "She's being uncooperative."

"Well, maybe if you didn't hit her with a mallet, she'd be nicer," said Donna.

The ship hummed in soft agreement.

The Doctor rolled his eyes. "It's not that-" said the Doctor.

At that moment, the TARDIS brakes began to grind. Donna grabbed onto the console for balance as the Doctor struggled with the controls.

"What is happening?!," Donna shouted.

The Doctor looked to the console. "Uh, well... I don't know."

Donna rolled her eyes. "Great."

The TARDIS stopped moving. Donna looked at the Doctor.

"Well," said the Doctor, "that's something, I suppose. Let's have a look outside, shall we?"

"Let's have a look outside he says," Donna muttered.

They stepped outside into a great room. It was dark. Donna could make out some hieroglyphics by the light coming from the TARDIS door.

"This is not the beach," Donna concluded.

"Oh, look, there's sand at least," said the Doctor.

"What is this place?," asked Donna.

"It looks like a tomb," said the Doctor. He walked to an unlit torch and used the sonic screwdriver on it, lighting it aflame. He picked it up as Donna followed him around the tomb past collections of jewels and golden statues. "Rather a posh one."

"We're in a tomb?," asked Donna.

"Yes, Egyptian-"

Donna's face dropped in alarm. "Egyptian?! As in we're going to be cursed and die a long, slow horrible death Egyptian tomb?"

"Oh, Donna, don't be superstitious, there are perfectly logical explanations for all of those deaths-"

"You mean you?," asked Donna.

Just then, the Doctor saw something that knew would indicate a long, slow, horrible death. At least for him.

"We should go," said the Doctor.

"Wait, we're going?," asked Donna.

"Yes, yes, curse of the mummy and all that, allons-y!"

Donna tilted her head to look at him. "You want to leave?"

"Yes, Donna, it's terribly dangerous in here. I mean, look at all this sand. Can't be very hygienic, now can it?"

A huge door opened. Light came pouring in. They were soon met by fierce-looking men with angled swords.

"Her Royal Highness, Daughter of Isis, Mistress of Sedge and Bee, Cleopatra of Egypt!"

After an escort of female servants, Cleopatra entered. She smiled coyly, which Donna didn't care for at all. "Doctor. Here at my hour of need. What a valiant man you are."

"I was just uh, well, uh, well, uh, Cleopatra-" the Doctor stammered.

"Oh, do call me Cleo again," she purred.

Donna looked at the Doctor. "Cleo?"

"My dear Doctor," said Cleopatra, laying her hands on the Doctor's lapels.

"Step off, Cleopatra," Donna said sharply, removing the queen's hands.

Cleopatra looked at the Doctor. "Who is this peasant who dares to put her hands on me?"

"His wife!," said Donna.

"Your wife?!" Cleopatra glared. "You said you could never marry!"

"Oh, yeah, we've all heard that all alone, last of the Time Lords load of bollocks," said Donna. She turned to the Doctor. "How do you know her?"

"I helped her with this thing, there were these aliens working with her brother and I rolled her in a rug and got her to Caesar-"

"Yeah, I know that story. So, that's all on you then," said Donna.

The Doctor looked at Donna. "You never said you had studied Roman history."

"Well, yeah, I watched Rome."

The Doctor frowned. "What do you mean you watched Rome?"

"The television program," said Donna. "Duh."

"Oh," said the Doctor.

"And let me tell you one thing," said Donna. She pointed at Cleopatra. "I don't like her."

"Impudent!," Cleopatra shouted. She motioned and the men with scimitars approached. The Doctor put himself between them and Donna.

"Doctor, I cannot tolerate this insolence!," said Cleopatra.

"I can't tolerate you," said Donna. "What? You're surprised that not all of us are impressed that you can sleep around and make men act like idiots? What a narcissist. No wonder you two got along."

The Doctor looked at Donna. "You think I'm a narcissist?"

"I think you have a pretty high opinion of yourself," said Donna.

The Doctor shrugged. "Well, really, why shouldn't I?"

"That's what I'm talking about," said Donna.

"You permit her to speak in this manner?," asked Cleopatra.

The Doctor shrugged. "I can't stop her, really."

Donna smacked him on the arm. The Doctor turned to face her.

"Ask me what it's for and I'll do it again," she warned.

"Cleopatra!," called a man.

They watched as an older man with something of a paunch entered He was in Roman dress, but Donna couldn't help but notice how short his toga was.

"Mark Antony!," the Doctor said excitedly. He looked at Donna. "Donna, it's Mark Antony!"

"Where?," asked Donna.

He frowned. "Uh, right in front of you. He just walked in."

Donna looked at the man. "He looks nothing like James Purefoy."

"James Purefoy?!," the Doctor exclaimed.

"Who is James Purefoy?," asked Cleopatra.

"And what's with that skirt?," Donna asked.

"Who is he?," Antony asked

"This is the Doctor. He's come to help us," Cleopatra said with satisfaction.

"Oh, well, I don't know if I'd phrase it quite like that, Cleo," said the Doctor.

"You see, we've just been at Actium-" Cleopatra started.

"And you lost," said Donna. "The Roman army is right outside the walls and basically, you're finished."

"We are not finished!," said Antony.

"Um, are you or are you not inside a palace surrounded by a bunch of angry Romans with no hope of escape? And what is with that skirt? Honestly! Did she pick it out?"

Antony seemed flummoxed. He turned to Cleopatra.

"The Doctor has immense power," Cleopatra said confidently. "I've seen it myself. If anyone can help us defeat Octavian's army, he can."

"Get ready for a long speech, Cleo," said Donna.

"You see," the Doctor began, swallowing a bit in hesitance, "most people think time is a linear progression from point to point, but in actuality is a big ball of timey wimey stuff and when you unravel one bit, all the other bits unravel and start ravelling into other balls and the universe falls out of balance-"

"You won't help me?," Cleopatra spat.

"What? Shocked a man turned you down? Had to happen sometime, didn't it?," said Donna. She looked at Antony. "You poor, stupid man."

"What?," asked Antony.

Donna just shook her head. She turned to the Doctor. "Do we have to stay here and watch the end of their downward spiral? Because I already watched James Purefoy kill himself and I cried. If there's nothing I can do to change it, I would just as soon go."

"Actually-"

"We do not have to stay, do we?"

"Well, something pulled us here, Donna," said the Doctor. "We ought to investigate and find out what it is."

"I thought you said it was just the TARDIS being funny."

"Well-"

Donna closed the distance between them to whisper. "Doctor, I am not going to stay here to watch these two off themselves, so let's just get in the TARDIS and go. Or do you want me to stay and start asking questions about how you started calling her Cleo?"

The Doctor turned quickly to face Cleopatra and Antony. "Well, as I said, we had better be off. Big universe and all that. Have fun, you two."

"You know, as much as you can," said Donna. "If you're thinking about having an extra piece of chocolate today, I say go for it."

"Chocolate?," asked Cleopatra.

"Don't worry about that," said the Doctor. "Won't be discovered for a while yet. Allons-y!"

The Doctor and Donna went in the TARDIS. Cleopatra, Antony and their entourage watched as the brake ground and the blue box dematerialized. They continued to watch as she materialized, once again landing in the soft sands of the tomb.

The door opened. The Doctor stepped out, then Donna. They looked over at their observers.

"We're stuck in Egypt."

The Doctor nodded. "Yes, we are."


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Notes: I do not own Doctor Who. Thanks for reading and following and the review. Let me know what you think and happy reading!

* * *

For a while, Donna sat in the jump seat patiently waiting as the Doctor insisted he could fix the TARDIS and they could be on their way to the beach. Next, she waited in the doorway as she watched the Doctor pop open a panel she hadn't realized existed on the ship's exterior and felt somewhat ridiculous as Cleopatra's slaves talked about her swimsuit. Then she realized it.

She was not going to the beach.

Donna went back to the bedroom and changed into the purple dress she had picked up in Pompeii. It had to be good for most places in the ancient world, right?

"Something is keeping us here! It's like a roadblock onto the Time Vortex-" said the Doctor. He stopped speaking. "You changed clothes."

"Yes," said Donna. "Some of us do that from time to time."

"The swimsuit, though. What happened to it?"

She shook her head. "I'm not walking around in a swimsuit for your benefit."

The Doctor looked disappointed. "No? I mean, no, of course not, that would be just wrong and uh, misogynist by your estimation and-"

"You can stop."

The Doctor nodded.

"Anyway, what roadblock?"

"That's the thing. I don't know. We're going to have to take a look around."

"With the Roman army just outside the palace walls?"

"We'll be fine. There are still some historical events to play out before that happens," said the Doctor.

Donna sighed. "Yeah, I'm really looking forward to those."

"Besides, Romans come in, I meet you back in the TARDIS."

"Right," said Donna, "this is a great plan."

"I told you so," said the Doctor, his oblivious grin signalling that he had missed the sarcasm. He bounded out and Donna followed.

The Doctor walked over to Cleopatra's slaves.

"Alright, then, let's meet your queen," said the Doctor.

They followed the slaves through the halls of Cleopatra's palace. The Egyptian servants were still doing their duty and Donna thought they were carrying out a preposterous number of empty bottles and glasses. She got a glance in one room and quickly turned away, usually seeing something like that would require selecting it on a hotel room remote.

"Going all out, aren't they?," asked Donna.

"The fall of Egypt," said the Doctor. "All Roman rule after this for a very long time."

They were eventually led into the throne room. Mark Antony sat drinking. Cleopatra glowed as she smiled smugly at them.

"Doctor," she said, "I knew you would come help us in our hour of need."

"Well," said the Doctor, "that's more of a matter of my being unable to leave."

"You got that, missy?," asked Donna.

Cleopatra looked Donna up and down. "She is dressed in the Roman fashion. We would have her change."

Donna rolled her eyes.

"I like it," said the Doctor.

Cleopatra's body slave spoke up again. "All women in Queen Cleopatra's court must dress in the Egyptian manner."

Donna looked around and the tight white gowns and heavy wigs. "Yeah, Trinny, Susannah, it's just not a good look for me."

"We know," said Cleopatra.

"Awfully full of herself for someone who' just lost her whole country," said Donna.

"We have lost nothing," said Cleopatra. "The Doctor will help us. It was foretold."

The Doctor narrowed his eyes. "Foretold by who?"

Antony spoke up. "Her witch."

Cleopatra grimaced. "You would do well to listen to my soothsayer."

"Soothsayer?," asked the Doctor.

"Why should I listen to her?," asked Mark Antony.

"She predicted your defeat," snapped Cleopatra.

"And who retreated first?," Antony snapped back.

"She say anything else?"

"She says I will die of a snake bite," said Cleopatra.

Donna leaned in. "We should go ask her for lottery numbers."

"Donna..." said the Doctor. He turned back to Cleopatra. "Where is this soothsayer?"

Antony smirked. "Won't see men. Something funny about that."

"Donna's not a man," said the Doctor.

"Oh, you noticed," said Donna.

The Doctor looked Donna up and down. "Oh, yes."

Donna smiled. Cleopatra snapped. A slave stepped forward.

"You will take the Doctor's wife to see the soothsayer."

The slave nodded and began walking away.

"Oh, so we're going now?," asked Donna. She shrugged at the Doctor as she followed. "All right, then, off to see the wizard."

The Doctor smiled and turned back to see Cleopatra and Mark Antony not sharing his enthusiasm. "Tough room."

* * *

The slave led Donna down some dark tunnels. They finally arrived at a room with a pool of water in the center. Donna didn't see anyone, she turned around to look at the slave and she was already out the door.

"Hello?," asked Donna. "Anybody home?"

A woman seemed to shimmer in. Donna wasn't quite certain where she had come from. She had on a dark robe and looked older, but not the haggard old woman Antony's comment had made her envisage.

"You have come," she said. "The Most Important Woman in Creation."

Donna looked behind her, then back at the soothsayer. "Sorry? Who are you talking to?"

"You, Donna Noble."

"You know my name?"

The soothsayer did not answer.

Donna furrowed her brow. "And I'm the Most Important Woman in Creation?"

"Yes."

Donna was still confused. "Are you sure you've got the right Donna Noble? I'm the one from Chiswick."

"The Doctor Donna."

Donna still shook her head. "Been chatting with the Ood?"

"Sit."

Donna looked at the empty ground in front of the pool. She settled on sitting cross-legged on the sand.

"She is returning," said the soothsayer.

"Who?," asked Donna.

"A thorn."

"Right..." said Donna.

"You will have a daughter."

"What?!," asked Donna. "Sorry, lady, who have you been talking to? Getting a bit personal, don't you think?"

She motioned at the pool. "The water tells all."

Donna looked down at the water and stared. Really stared. She saw a little girl with ginger hair, toddling down the corridor of the TARDIS.

Donna shook her head. "What are you doing?"

"The water tells you, not I."

"The water is predicting my future now?"

"She'll be born under a cloud."

Donna narrowed her eyes. "What do you mean a cloud? Like it'll be raining? If it's in London, that's practically a guarantee. Don't need a soothsayer for that."

"The cloud is not of the sky, it is of you."

"What do you mean?"

"The future is uncertain."

"What do you mean?," Donna repeated, growing irritated.

The woman got up and walked away.

"Oi, lady!," Donna called. "I'm talking to you! You can't just talk some rubbish about my daughter being born under a cloud and then walk off! What do you mean?!"

The soothsayer walked away, not responding to Donna's pleas.

* * *

Donna made her way back up to the palace proper, feeling as if she was in a daze. She found the Doctor standing in the hallway.

"Donna, what happened down there? It's been hours."

Donna looked out a nearby window. "The sun's still up."

"Yes, it's the next morning. What happened?"

Donna shrugged. "I don't know. I went down there. She said some stuff. What do you mean it's the next morning?"

"I mean, it's the next morning. Cleopatra is already pretending to be dead."

Donna rolled her eyes. "Oh, hate to miss that."

The Doctor stared at Donna. "What sort of stuff?"

"What?"

"The soothsayer. What sort of stuff did she say?"

Donna did not quite want to share the specifics on that. It was bad enough when the Doctor was trying to tell her things about herself, worse when some old woman in an Egyptian basement did it. Besides, that "Most Important Woman in Creation" bit was ridiculous. Donna supposed she probably told it to anyone, it would explain some of Cleopatra's attitude. "A lot of nonsense."

"What nonsense?"

"Why are you so concerned?"

"Why won't you tell me?"

"Well, it's not going to help us get of here, is it? Any minute now Mark Antony will be stabbing himself because 'Cleo' pretends she's already dead and the Roman army walks in."

"She lives?," they heard a man ask.

The Doctor's face dropped. He and Donna turned to see Mark Antony behind them. He looked about as well as any man who had just been told his girlfriend was faking her own death.

"That bitch!," said Antony, storming off.

"Oh, my God," said Donna. She turned to the Doctor.

He looked shocked. "You've done it, Donna. You've actually done it. That was a fixed event!"

"Well, apparently not that fixed," said Donna.

"This is not funny, Donna! That was a fixed event! The time line is changing, your planet's history is altering-"

"Well, I'm still here," said Donna. "Isn't that your big warning all the time? Don't alter history so you aren't born? How much could it have changed?!"

The Doctor sighed in exasperation. "Okay, so you've managed to still be born, that could change."

Suddenly, the palace doors burst open. The Doctor and Donna looked up to see a bunch of invading Romans.

"Back to the TARDIS!," the Doctor shouted as he grabbed Donna's hand.

They ran back down into the tombs and the Doctor shoved Donna back into the TARDIS.

"That wasn't meant to happen, was it?," asked Donna. "The Romans don't push in until Cleopatra and Antony are dead, right? That's how it went on telly."

"The time line is in tatters, Donna! Anything could happen!"

"Well, sorry! It's not like I knew he was right behind me! I didn't want to stay anyway!"

They jolted forward as the TARDIS began moving.

"You said it didn't work!," Donna shouted accusingly.

"It doesn't!"

The TARDIS finally stilled. Donna looked at the Doctor.

"Where are we?," asked Donna.

"No idea."

"Oh, good."

They walked out the door of the TARDIS and into...

An Egyptian tomb.

"Oh, good," said Donna. "We're the same bloody place we were before."

The door opened.

"Her Royal Highness, Daughter of Isis, Mistress of Sedge and Bee, Cleopatra of Egypt!"

Cleopatra entered. She smiled coyly, which Donna didn't care for at all. "Doctor. Here at my hour of need. What a valiant man you are."

Donna looked at the Doctor. "Anyone else getting a sense of déjà vu?"

"It's not déjà vu, Donna."

"Oh, good."

"Donna, this is yesterday morning," he said gravely as he looked up from his watch. "We're not just stuck in Egypt, we're stuck on the same day."


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Notes: I do not own Doctor Who. Thanks for the reads and reviews. I hope you're enjoying it. Let me know what you think and happy reading!

* * *

Cleopatra and her entourage were still staring dumbfounded at the Doctor and Donna.

"The same day?," asked Donna.

"It's a chronic hysteresis," said the Doctor.

"A what?"

"That's the technical name for a causal closed time loop. We go through a certain amount of time and always go back to the moment that began the loop, in this case, when the TARDIS arrived."

"Then why don't you call it a time loop?," asked Donna. "Chronic hysteresis sounds like something you should see a gynecologist for."

"It's the technical name!," the Doctor insisted exasperated.

"No need to get all bent out of shape with me," said Donna.

"I am not bent out of shape! I am caught in a chronic hysteresis!"

"Well, so am I!," said Donna.

"Well, you fractured the time line!"

"I didn't mean to!"

Antony entered the tomb room. He looked to Cleopatra. "What's going on?"

"The Doctor is arguing with this Celtic prisoner," said Cleopatra.

"I am not his prisoner! And I'm not Celtic!," Donna snapped. "Why are you saying that? Because I'm ginger?"

"This is my wife," said the Doctor sheepishly.

"Why do you sound so embarrassed?," asked Donna.

"I am not embarrassed," said the Doctor. He turned back to Cleopatra and Antony. "Queen Cleopatra, General Antony, this is my wife, Donna Noble and I am not embarrassed."

"Oh, thanks," Donna growled.

"What do you want now?"

"What do I want? I want a husband who doesn't think he needs to clarify he's not embarrassed to be seen with me!"

"You were the one who wanted clarification!"

"Excuse me," said Antony. "Cleopatra said you would help us. I feel as if that should be higher on the priority list than your inability to control your wife."

"Come off it, Antony!," snapped Donna. "This is your own fault, really! Nothing we do is going to change it!"

"Hopefully," the Doctor said quietly.

"Do I look stupid to you?," asked Donna.

"I never said you were stupid-"

"Because you're sort of treating me like I am!"

"What did that soothsayer tell you?," asked the Doctor.

"How did you know about my soothsayer?," asked Cleopatra.

"Donna needs to go see her," said the Doctor.

"I do?"

"Yeah, you really do," said the Doctor. "Go down there and see if she's conscious of the time loop or it's just us."

"Do I have to?"

"Well, it's this or we're stuck here for the rest of our lives."

"My slave shall-" Cleopatra began.

"No, thanks, Cleo. I know the way," said Donna.

"I'll wait upstairs," said the Doctor.

* * *

Donna walked back down to the room. Empty as ever, save the water. "Hello, soothsayer!"

The soothsayer shimmered in. Donna sighed. "Are you going to enter all mysterious every time?"

"You have returned," said the soothsayer.

"Wait, you remember me? How can you remember?"

"Zara."

"What? Like the shop?"

"You will call her Zara."

Donna's face dropped. "Oh, come on! You did not just tell me my baby's name! Do you have any idea how long I've waited to name a baby?! And you just appear and tell me what it's going to be! I had a list I made from the internet and I was going to buy a book! I was supposed to spend hours on this!"

"Look to the water."

"Mummy!"

Donna turned to the water. She saw herself being held back by two soldiers as she screamed and kicked and punched. She got a flash of the little girl red-faced and tears streaming as she was carried off.

"What's that?," asked Donna.

She looked up. The soothsayer didn't say anything.

"What is that?," Donna repeated the question more harshly. "Don't you dare just stand there! Tell me what that is and what's happening! Are they taking her from me?!"

"The water speaks, not I."

Donna looked to the water and back up. The soothsayer was gone again. "You can't just say that and leave!"

* * *

The Doctor was not enjoying this visit with Cleo quite as much. Things had certainly gone downhill since their last visit. Donna was right. It wasn't fun to visit people on their final days. Especially when it was a fixed event that couldn't be changed, though, by his calculation it was hours off track by now. They had begun arguing when he called her "Cleo" and had not let up as the Doctor and the remainder of the Egyptian court were forced to watch.

"Maybe you would have won the battle if you weren't so drunk!," Cleopatra snapped.

"Maybe I would have won if some woman hadn't bewitched me and convinced me to leave my wife!"

"You call that a marriage?"

"At least I didn't have to listen to some harpie every bleeding second! I could have peace!"

Cleopatra turned to the Doctor. "Doctor, am I a harpie?"

"Uh-"

"Why don't you just run off with your precious Doctor? Oh, right, he married someone else. Even he can't stand you! No one can! I bet Caesar let himself get stabbed just so he wouldn't have to listen to you!"

"Do not tarnish the memory of my beloved husband!"

"You know, I remembered he had a wife. Oh, wait, it wasn't you!" He turned to a slave and shouted. "Where's the wine?!"

"You're holding it, you git!," shouted Cleopatra.

"Yeah?" Antony threw the bottle at Cleopatra. She responded in kind.

Donna entered. The Doctor looked up at her, grateful to see someone with some semblance of sanity. Her eyes were puffy and her nose was red. He walked over to her.

"Donna, are you alright?"

"I'm fine."

"No, you're not. You've been crying."

"Oh, so glad you're here to let me know!," Donna snapped.

He let that one ride. "Donna, what happened?"

She burst into more tears and collapsed on him.

* * *

The Doctor took Donna away from the throne room and to the roof of the palace. The sun glimmered off the helmets and shields of the Roman army just outside the palace walls. There may have been the hustle and bustle of an oncoming army, but it was still quieter than Antony and Cleopatra.

"Okay," said the Doctor. "What happened? What did she say?"

"Lots of things."

"Donna, we have a decidedly accurate soothsayer and a time loop. Do you think the two are connected?"

Donna sighed. "There's this water and you look in it and you see things."

"What did you see?"

"A baby." Donna didn't look up.

"A baby. Oh. Well, that's..." The Doctor tried to think of an answer that would get him in the least possible amount of trouble. A baby was thrilling if it was true, but from Donna's demeanor he supposed all was not well.

"Then they took her from me. And she was screaming and crying and I couldn't do anything! She was calling for me and-"

"Shh, Donna. It's alright."

"What about our baby?"

"She doesn't exist yet.'

"Someone's going to take her from me."

"In this future, Donna, where was I?"

Donna paused. "You weren't there. What does that mean?"

"It doesn't mean anything, Donna. If someone took our child, don't you think I would do anything to get her back? Wouldn't we do anything?"

"Yes," Donna admitted.

"This soothsayer- if she is that- has got it wrong."

"And what do we do about the time loop?"

"Something's causing it. The Time Lords use to use chronic hysteresis all the time."

Donna rolled her eyes at the use of a technical term that didn't make any sense in her opinion. "So, what are you saying? Somebody wants us stuck in a time loop on this day?"

"Yes. It all goes back to the same moment the TARDIS brought us here."

"What do we do?"

The Doctor looked out over the Roman troops. "Back to the TARDIS."

"What about Antony and Cleopatra?"

The Doctor looked at his watch. "They're off track. She should have pretended to be dead by now. They're still fighting."

"What are they fighting about?"

The Doctor didn't want to admit that he had inadvertently started the argument. Donna would have loved that. "Who knows with these two?"

Donna cringed as she heard something break. "And no signs of slowing down."

"We can use the TARDIS scanners to try to track down any energy disruptions. Tomorrow, we'll try again."

Donna smiled wanly. "You mean today?"

The Doctor smiled back. "Or today."

"I'm starving," said Donna. She hadn't thought about it. She was suddenly famished.

"Of course you are. You haven't eaten in a day and a half."

* * *

They went back to the TARDIS and Donna set about getting dinner together. She was putting it on the table when the Doctor walked in.

"Did you find something out?," asked Donna.

"You said there was water in the soothsayer's room?"

"Yeah. That's what she keeps on about, the water."

"The TARDIS says there isn't any water."

"Well, sorry," said Donna, looking at the ceiling, "but she's wrong. I saw it."

"Or it could be a mirage."

"I'm not dying of thirst in the desert."

"Yeah, that's not what a mirage is."

"Here we go..." This was usually the part where Donna found out shadows could eat her or it was perfectly normal to be at a party where a murder took place with Agatha Christie.

"A mirage is actually a hole pointing to another dimension-"

Donna frowned. "I thought you said all the other dimensions were closed off. When I first came onboard, you said that all the other dimensions were completely shut off because that's why you were never seeing Rose again."

"Well, it should be."

"Does that mean Rose could come back?"

"Does that matter?"

"I'm just asking."

"Why are you just asking?"

"I don't know. What if she showed up?"

"Donna, she is not showing up and even if she did, I am married to you."

"Alright then," said Donna. She didn't want to admit it, but she was glad to hear it.

"Alright," said the Doctor, shuffling his feet.

"What's it mean then? Why is there a soothsayer with a mirage in Cleopatra's basement on the day she dies? And why is she saying all this stuff about me?"

"That is a mystery..." said the Doctor, dragging out the final 'y' as he stared at the dinner. "Is that Tikka Masala?"

"You know it comes from a packet, right?"

"Yeah, but you pick the packet," the Doctor said with a smile. "Besides, there is no one I would rather be trapped in a closed chronic hysteresis eating Tikka Masale from a packet with."

Donna smiled. "I bet you say that to all the girls."


	4. Chapter 4

Donna woke up to the Doctor on her bedside.

"What?"

"We have an hour until the causal loop goes back to the beginning. I want to investigate the soothsayer first thing."

Donna nodded. "Right."

"Donna, listen, before we go, I need you to understand that whatever she shows you is not necessarily the future."

"I know," Donna lied.

"Did I ever tell you how on Gallifrey we had forty men to one woman?"

Donna wondered what the sudden reason for that bit of Gallifreyan census related trivia was. "No," said Donna. "How did you get a wife?"

The Doctor stiffened. "I got one because I had to prove to my wife that I was a capable father, one who could protect his children. It means a lot to me that you think that."

"Of course I do," said Donna.

"Then let's go see that soothsayer."

"They said men weren't allowed."

"Do I look like men to you?"

Donna paused. "Sort of?"

* * *

Donna get dressed and met her husband in the console room just before the TARDIS lurched back as it went to the start of the time loop.

"Allons-y," said the Doctor.

They walked out of the TARDIS just as Cleopatra and her entourage entered the tomb.

"Hello, Cleo!," the Doctor said brightly. "This is my wife, Donna."

"Wife?," asked Cleopatra.

"Yes, wife. She was in a wedding dress in my TARDIS, then we met when there was this alien race using fat people to breed, then she was trapped in a computer-"

"What are you doing?," asked Donna.

"Sharing."

"Less is more," said Donna.

"Right," said the Doctor. He turned back to Cleopatra. "We're off to see the soothsayer."

They started walking off.

"How did you know about my soothsayer?," asked Cleopatra.

"Oh, I've got a soothsayer of my own," said the Doctor.

* * *

They walked in the soothsayer's den.

"Hello?," Donna called.

The Doctor walked over to the water and took out his sonic screwdriver. "Water that's not water."

"A mirage," Donna repeated.

"You betcha," said the Doctor. He turned to Donna. "This shouldn't be possible. Someone is going to a lot of effort to blow a hole in the universe."

"That doesn't sound good," said Donna.

"It's really not." The Doctor looked around. "This has always been the soothsayer's area, look at the writing on the walls. It dates back to the beginning of the Egyptian empire."

"But they just now got good?," asked Donna.

They looked up. The soothsayer had shimmered in yet again.

"Does she do that all the time?," asked the Doctor.

"Yeah," said Donna.

"She is coming back," the soothsayer said.

"She said that before," Donna said to the Doctor.

"Oh, yeah?," asked the Doctor. "What else do you have?"

The soothsayer looked to Donna. "She will forget you. The cloud will descend."

"The cloud. She said that before, too," said Donna.

"Okay, answer this," said the Doctor. "We're in a closed chronic hysteresis-"

"Horrible name," said Donna.

"Anyway," said the Doctor, casting her a glance. "You're here. The loop is originating here from this mirage. That means you're the one controlling it. You brought us here. Why?"

"She is coming back."

"Who?"

"She is coming back."

"Who?!," the Doctor shouted.

"Calling for you, through time."

"Who?," he demanded.

"Wait, so did you bring us here because you think somebody's calling for him?," asked Donna.

The soothsayer didn't answer which Donna thought was as good as yes.

"So, stop bringing us here, lady!," shouted Donna. She looked at the Doctor. "God, whoever's looking for you, can't they just ring you on your mobile like a normal person? Martha did."

The Doctor turned to Donna. "We have to close this rift."

"What?"

"The mirage, it's like a rift between dimensions, sort of like the one in Cardiff-"

"Cardiff has a rift in time and space?"

The Doctor nodded. "Uh-huh. Yeah."

"I mean, I guess they needed to have something..." mused Donna.

"We close this rift, it closes the time loop, the whole time line returns to normal."

"What about all the stuff she said? What happens to it if we close it?"

"I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know?"

"I don't know if it was real or if it was just some alternate reality or in response to some sort of neurological feedback. Which one, Donna?"

"I mean, I liked the baby..." As soon as she said it, she felt like an idiot. How many times was she going to fall for a fake family?

"Donna, that part's not real. A child that doesn't exist yet if it does exist at all or it might exist for some alternate Donna. I'm sorry."

Donna shook her head. "No, it's daft. You're right."

"We need to get the TARDIS down here," said the Doctor.

"But you can't move the TARDIS."

"We'll need some help."

* * *

An hour later, the Doctor had succeeded in getting Cleopatra to dispatch a group of slaves to carry the TARDIS down to the basement. He might have said something about it being essential to her destiny which Cleo might have taken to mean "victory."

"Okay, well, then," said the Doctor, popping open the panels. He dragged a cord out of the panels and over to the water. "Just a nice zap from the TARDIS engines and the mirage will be closed."

Donna's eyes darted from the proximity of cord to water. "Are you going to electrocute yourself?"

"No! Of course not! It's not even real water, Donna."

Donna put her hand in the pool. "Feels wet."

The Doctor frowned. "Okay, well, don't touch it while I do this."

Donna looked across the pool at the soothsayer. She had been sitting silently ever since the Doctor first started rambling on about his plans.

"There will be a sacrifice," she said.

"What?," asked Donna.

The Doctor stood. "Donna, don't."

She held her hand up to silence the Doctor. "What sacrifice?"

"A terrible sacrifice."

"Oh, well, that doesn't explain everything! What terrible sacrifice?!"

"Donna, stop it," the Doctor said sharply. "She's trying to get inside your head."

"I only speak the truth."

"Donna, don't listen to her."

"I shouldn't listen to the terrible sacrifice prophecy as you're about to electrocute yourself?"

"There is no prophecy, Donna! It's all just superstition and wishful thinking!"

"She's right about Cleopatra."

He shrugged. "Well, that's basically one in two odds. This is not our life, Donna!"

"How do you know?"

The Doctor stopped speaking. Donna rolled her eyes. She knew that expression. He was a Time Lord and thought he knew better and had enough of discussion. He tossed the cord in the water.

"Doctor, don't-"

He whipped out the sonic screwdriver and pointed it. The water sparked and bubbled. There was a terrible blinding light. Donna looked away from it and hid her eyes. The Egyptian slaves watched in amazement. It all stopped. Donna walked back up next to the Doctor at the edge of the pool. The water had disappeared.

"What happened?," asked Donna.

"The mirage is gone," said the Doctor. He looked up at the soothsayer. "That portal is closed. The time loop is over. History can move forward now as it was meant to."

The Doctor started reeling the cord back into the TARDIS.

"Come on, Donna," said the Doctor. "Let's go say goodbye to Cleo and really goodbye in this case."

Donna looked across at the soothsayer. She seemed wiped out with the mirage gone.

Then she spoke again: "There is something on your back."

"What?"

The Doctor took her by the hand and dragged her off.

* * *

As usual, Donna felt wiped out by the previous events, but the Doctor didn't show any sign of slowing down. They had found Antony as he walked around with a sword in his stomach and helped him get to Cleopatra, even though Donna thought the whole thing was rubbish, but kept her mouth shut as the Doctor seemed to think letting Antony know about the mistakes in his life choices would damage the timeline. She leaned against the railing of the console room as the Doctor happily skipped around the controls.

"Barcelona!," the Doctor said excitedly.

"Sorry?"

The Doctor turned from the console. "The next stop in the honeymoon tour of the universe: Barcelona. Oh, Donna, wait until you see it. They have dogs with no noses."

"Sounds great," said Donna.

The Doctor stopped and looked back at her. "You're not still thinking about that old soothsayer, are you?"

"It's just, remember the Pyroviles? That auger back in Pompeii said there was something on my back and so did she."

"So?"

"So isn't that a bit of a coincidence?"

"Donna, just the same old bag of soothsayer tricks-"

"And he called you Man from Gallifrey. Was that a trick?"

The Doctor crossed his arms. "What do you want me to say, Donna? That the mirage gave her unprecedented prescience? Oh, that's a turn of phrase. Unprecedented prescience."

"I'm just wondering what it means. There's something on my back."

"Well, Donna, I have done a very thorough inspection of your back and trust me, there is nothing on it. Except freckles and I rather like those." He walked over. "Look, Donna, there's no sense in living your life by prophecy. You have to live it for yourself and just take what comes next."

Donna shook her head. "Something about it felt so right, though."

"Come on. Barcelona's waiting."

"Yeah, just let me get freshened up a bit."

* * *

Donna walked into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. She was exhausted and he just wanted to carry on to Barcelona. They were never going to get to a beach, were they?

"Donna! Come on! Barcelona is waiting!," the Doctor moaned from the bedroom.

Donna looked over at the vanity and on it was a pregnancy test.

"Oh, no, I don't think so," Donna said. "You can just put that away, we just started trying."

The TARDIS hummed insistently, reminding Donna of something her mother had long ago told her ironically as a warning against sex, "It only takes once."

Donna looked down at the vanity. The pregnancy test was joined by another pregnancy test.

"I am in a hurry. Barcelona."

She looked down, a whole tray of pregnancy tests.

"You know, I think you just want grandchildren or whatever they'd be. You are worse than my mum."

The medicine cabinet door flew open and another pregnancy test seemingly fell out and hit Donna smack in the forehead.

"Oi! What do you think you're doing?," she asked rubbing her forehead.

"Donna! We'll miss the running of the bulls!"

"How exactly are we going to miss anything?" She yelled back. She picked up a pregnancy test. "I'll be five minutes!"

Donna looked at the ceiling. "I'm doing this to placate you. You're out of your mind."

The TARDIS said that would be fine with her.

Donna unboxed what she presumed was the Gallifreyan version of First Response, which made her wonder why the TARDIS had so bloody many on hand. What exactly had been going on when the TARDIS was crewed by a full complement of Time Lords and presumably ladies? What did they get up to? She only had experience with the Tesco version once, part of a one night stand she had tried to forget. She followed the instructions and sat on the edge of the huge tub waiting.

"Donna!," the Doctor whined. "What are you doing?"

"What am I doing in the toilet?," she snapped back. She really wasn't about to let on after the whole no bleeping business.

There was a ding. Donna got up and walked over to the vanity. The test had double helixes on it.

"What? What does that mean?" She picked the set of instructions back up. "Doubles helixes. You are... pregnant."

Donna looked in the mirror and gazed down at her stomach.

"Zara," she said softly, "is that you?"

"Donna, honestly," the Doctor whined, "we're going to miss it! What could you possibly be doing in there?"

Donna looked down. The mess of pregnancy tests was gone. She walked out into the bedroom.

"Do you think it's alright just to stand outside the door and whine until you get your way?," Donna asked.

"Come on, Barcelona, don't want to miss it!," said the Doctor, grabbing Donna by the hand.

"Um, is there any chance of us having a nice dinner?," asked Donna as she was dragged out of the TARDIS. "You know, someplace quiet."

"Dinner? What are you so concerned about dinner for?"

Donna rolled her eyes. "Is it too much to ask?"

"Donna! Barcelona!"

She turned around and looked. It looked like Barcelona. Cobblestones. The sun beating down, warming the buildings. Everyone was walking around, cheerfully. There were festive decorations on every available area.

"Running of the bulls, today! Come on!"

"Uh, do we have to?"

He stopped and turned. "Do we have to what?"

"Run from the bulls?"

"You don't want to?"

Not that Donna was the sort of woman to put herself in front of a bull as a normal matter of course, but having just found out she was pregnant, it probably wasn't a great idea. Getting gored was not a great plan. "No, I don't want to run from the bulls, I run plenty as it is."

The Doctor sighed. "Fine."

* * *

They watched the running of the bulls from the balcony of a nearby hotel. They didn't have noses, either. After the festivities were over, Donna steered the Doctor towards a nearby restaurant the concierge had recommended and they sat down for a surprisingly quiet dinner. She excused herself, wanting to make her special announcement as special as possible.

"Hi," Donna said to the hostess. "Have you got anything in the way of a special celebration pudding?"

"I'll get the chef," the girl said with a smile.

Donna waited a second and the chef came out. They chatted for a minute the chef promised it would be spectacular.

"What took you so long?," the Doctor asked.

Donna sat. "I went to the toilet."

"Doing that a lot."

She scowled at him.

"Right..." said the Doctor, analyzing her facial expressions. "Forget I said anything."

"I think that's best."

"So, ready to leave?"

"We haven't had pudding yet," said Donna.

"Right... Do we need pudding?"

Donna was quickly growing flustered. Why did this man just have to be difficult? She was trying to bloody surprise him! "We're staying for pudding," she said exasperated.

"Alright then," said the Doctor.

Donna saw the chef out of the corner of her eye. He gave her a thumbs up and Donna turned to the Doctor.

"So, I've been thinking..." Donna began.

"Oh?" He was staring out the window now.

"We really ought to try visiting my family again."

"Oh?"

"Yes, we had the whole disaster with the Oolamu when we tried to tell them we were married and now we have even more to tell them."

"What's that?," the Doctor said, taking out his brainy specs as he stared out the window.

She was about to say, but then realized she didn't have his attention at all. "Doctor, are you even listening to me?"

"Oh, that is not good..."

The Doctor stood and looked out the window. Donna glanced anxiously as the chef arrived proudly holding what seemed to be the biggest fairy cake ever, replete with glittery frosting and sparklers.

"Doctor?," asked Donna.

Donna turned to the window, finally seeing what had distracted the Doctor: there was goo falling from the sky. People began to scream outside. Then the goo began to coalesce into humanoid figures.

"What is that?," asked Donna.

"Invasion of the Goo Monsters," said the Doctor.

"Seriously?"

"I'm still working on the name. Come on, Donna." He ran past, knocking over the chef's creation. "Oh. Blimey! Sorry! That was a huge fairy cake! My apologies to whoever that belonged to. Donna, hurry up!"

Donna sighed and took some of the Barcelona money out of her pocket and threw it down. "Sorry, everyone. I'm sure it was really, really great."

"Donna!," the Doctor whined.

"I'm coming!," she spat back.

* * *

Five hours later, Donna stepped back inside the TARDIS covered in green goo. So was the Doctor.

"I can't believe they just called themselves Goo Monsters," said the Doctor. "Still, you learn something everyday. What do you think, Donna?"

Donna mumbled something. She wasn't even sure it was English. She was just very unhappy at the moment.

"Wonder why someone would take the Planet of the Goo Monsters if the whole place is covered in this muck. It is ridiculously sticky. Stickier than when Sticky the stick insect got stuck on a sticky bun, eh, Donna? Did you see Black Adder?"

She just nodded her head, which made her feel as if she was sloshing around.

"Anyway, sorry about pudding. Was that giant fairy cake for us?"

"Yeah."

"Well, what did you order that for?"

Donna suddenly felt overwhelmed by a crippling wave of nausea. "Has this goo gone off or something?"

"Of course it has, it's dead Goo Monster."

Donna took her hand to her mouth, only serving to make her problem worse. "I'm going to be sick."

"Oh, come on, it's not all that bad-"

Donna bolted away, heading for the door that suddenly appeared adjacent to the console room. The toilet was conveniently circumstanced and she found herself kneeling over it and puking up the contents of most of the evening's dinner along with some things she didn't even recognize.

"Oh, sorry, Donna," said the Doctor. "Did you-"

She puked again and suddenly realized the Doctor was holding back her goo soaked hair for her as she proceeded to vomit more. She ended up lying on the floor of the bathroom in the fetal position. She became aware of the Doctor kneeling over her.

"I'm going to get an anti-emetic for you. Then we'll get that goo off and hydrate you. Alright?"

Donna mumbled something.

"Okay," said the Doctor, "I'm going to assume that was a yes. I'll be right back."

Donna laid there on the floor. Her last coherent thought as the Doctor helped her wash her hair was that the announcement probably could have gone better.

* * *

Author's Notes: I still don't own Doctor Who. Thanks to those of you reading this. I appreciate your follows and favorites and reviews. I'm going to be very soon following this up with a sequel entitled "From Midnight to the Medusa Cascade" if you're interested. There will be more on that on my profile page. Thanks again and please let me know what you think.


End file.
